Searching for a Meaning

ugh...so tired ><

i am so tired - i can't wait until finals are over and school is finally out. i want summer so badly....

it is going to be a very busy week...so much studying to do ><

Life is quite... O_O

... my life is quite stressful rite now D: there's a little more than a week left before the ap world history exam & truth be told i don't feel ready for it. AT ALL. that just means i have to really study these next few days. >< but after that, i don't have much to worry about. just finals. but that's another story.

there is so much information to remember for ap world. it's a crazy amount. O_O what am i going to do next year when i'm taking 4 ap classes as a junior? D: gah. anyways i better get back to studying for the test because i really want my 5 :)

it's friday :D

It's friday :D almost the weekend...

unfortunately my ap exam is coming up (it's less than 3 weeks away) D: and i'm really getting into study mode because i want the 5. xD

but today is special schedule so i'm on a super long lunch break :) this is why i'm taking a small break to blog here (although i haven't been doing it for a long time >_<)

i should get back to work now...

:(

tomorrow & friday are gonna be dreadful. D:

why? because teachers are assigning so much stuff before spring break starts. i have exactly 5 tests spread out over 2 days. sheesh. i'm so effing screwed.

i'm supposed to be studying for eng vocab test btw. + the reading comp test on scarlet letter. >_< gah.

friday i have an english in class essay, ap world essay, & a chem test. D; what a horrible friday. :(

humph. my teachers are so mean....

anyways i better go now. there's A LOT of vocab to be memorized & a lot of summarizing & analyzing to be done. & lot of chem studying too. >_<

gosh. if this is what it looks like in soph year i don't wanna know junior year then. xP

D<

geo class is effing killing me right now. teacher is so fricking fussy abt the words that are on a proof. wth.

he was yelling too >< it's so annoying. i cannot put up w/ this another day. let alone the rest of this semester. hell no.

anyways better go. still got the rest of my day to deal w/. crap.

>_<

i do realize i haven't written for about a month now...possibly more.

but how ironic is the fact that as soon as i decide that i'm going to blog again that sometuing happens that just totally pisses me off. and not for the better.

i'm really frustrated right now. if this turns into a rant i'm very sorry.

anyways i don't understand why my parents have to stick their noses in basically everything in mine. for pete's sake - i can't evem choose my classes for junior year w/o it turning into a whole HUGE fiasco about grades & gpa & etc. etc. sheesh. it really frustrates me sometimes. actually make that most of the time.

sometimes i wish that i could get a second chance at life just so that i could do a lot of things over again. i've made so many mistakes that i wish i had never done. >_< but then again who hasn't?

reading a chem textbook isn't the most desirable task to be doing right now especially when i'm feeling all muddled like this. but i have to. & it's a good distraction for all the other issues i'm dealing with. kinda.

i cannot wait til this week is over. -_- i need my spring break. desperately.

:P

yes i realize once again i have not blogged in a very long time -_- gah.

either b/c i don't have time or i'm just really lazy. take your pick. :P

3 day weekend...altho technically only 1 day is left D: but the olympics are on right now & will be for two weeks. but i'm sure you know that rite? xD so i'm really looking forward to the next two weeks. :)

anyways...not much is really happening at all for me these days. school is the same old stuff. sometimes good sometimes bad. all depends.

i should be getting to sleep now. xP

o yeah the stanford invitational for debate. i don't remember exactly if i ranted about it in my last posts so...
yeah it was bad as i expected. but what did i realistically expect? o-o not much. considering i had a partner who didn't know what the heck he was doing. safe to say it was a horrible weekend last weekend. was at stanford til 1:00 am. got back to sf @ like 2:00 ish. then went to bed @ 2:30 am. only to find myself up again @ 7:30 am & back to stanford. oh it was quite joyous.

o-o

i'm gonna run out of simple emoticons soon. :P lmao...

today was last day of cahsee testing. which is good. because the past two days have been a total waste of 4 hours per day. the test only took about maybe 2 hours or less each for math & english. which meant half the time a majority of the people were sitting around bored. but the test wasn't that difficult. i see that standards are set pretty low -_-

anyways moving on...
stanford tournament almost here D: god. i'm really excited but also really nervous. o wait i think i may have established that in my last post. oops.

:) i just uploaded 45 new songs from ayumi hamasaki onto iPod so i'm very happy about that. b/c i love japanese music. a lot. xD listening to the songs atm...& they sound amazing!! :D

darn i missed american idol tonite :( gah. too much hw to get done before tournament >_<
anyone want to fill me in on any details or good things i missed @ tonite's auditions?? ;) lol...

anyways i should go now. another day tomorrow. but i have a practice round after school as well. -_- gah. o well. practice is good for stanford. i need it.

-_-

yes that emoticon up in the title does accurately express what i'm feeling atm. i'm extremely tired etc. & it's only been the third week of the semester.

& on top of all the hw i have i've got the stanford invitational this weekend. so i have to be prepping for that b/c god knows that my partner won't be doing much. -_-

gah. i need to stop complaining. huh. that's a really good idea now that i think about it. lmao...

report cards are uber slow @ coming to houses which doesn't help my case @ all since i have to have it for application to summer class. -_- sigh. fail. what else is new?

let's see: studying for english vocab b/c test tomorrow. :P but it's relatively simple.

listening to: ketsui no asa ni (aqua timez) :D v. good song. but then again i'm biased. i say that about almost every song i hear :)

tomorrow & wed. is cahsee testing >_< 4.5 hours of english testing is gonna be a pain. gah. but we have to take it in order to graduate fr. high school. why? who knows. it's about as clear to students as to why we have to pass a swim test to graduate here in san francisco. i still have yet to find a correlation between knowing how to swim & being successful in college. unless i'm training to be in the olympics (in which case i would have started a LONG time ago xD) totally unnecessary.

anyways have to study -_-
& reorganize debate files >_> i swear i have enough files for debate that it's equivalent to a tree :P

hey it's ponyo!!!!!!! :D (o i mean the theme song o-o lmao. sry for the random outburst :D) :| oops.

:P

yes i do realize i have been on a blogging hiatus >-> life is too busy these days -___-

anyways i watched avatar this weekend :) yes i do realize i'm like a month late in experiencing its epicness. but o well. xD
but it was an amazing movie... esp. loved the visuals + the action scenes. some dialogue was uh. iffy. i guess but overall v. amazing (:
easily one of my fave movies ever.

let's see...school tomorrow -_- gah.

stanford invitational this coming wkend. super nervous b/c it's my 1st debate invitational but super excited for that same reason xD

listening to: for fruits basket (ritsuko okazaki)

what else can i talk about? o-o the incompetency of my math teacher? huh. sounds fun. why not?

he really is though -_- i mean what kind of teacher starts going off on a tangent about colleges when he's supposed to be teaching us geo?!?! wtf. it sucks. so does his teaching skills. >_< i've met 5 year olds that could teach me more abt geometry. fail. i still ask myself how i'm going to put up w/ this for a semester. what joy.

anyways i better get to sleep now :P gah. o yeah i got a new pair of headphones :) tho i'm still getting used to them b/c it's somewhat difficult to get them to stay in my ears -_- fail.